My Mind

   My mind is like a battlefield,  it is where some of the things you thought it would be like,  never happened.  But  if I allow these thoughts to dwell in my mind they will succeed in robbing me of peace and some happiness.  You'll allow yourself to sink into a never ending depression that you may never be able to crawl out of.


Over coming your thoughts may be hard but necessary for survival. Try to think of all the positives and not overlook even the smallest of things that put a smile on your face.  This morning as I was drinking my coffee alone on our deck and  five golden finch's was on the sock of seed I hung just the day before.  That one little moment made me glad I was alive.

Screaming

      Does anyone know what it's like to try and be upbeat and positive all the time?  You try and try to make a difference despite how hard it is just to get up some morning's.  Well  I come from a family of hard workers no matter what!   It just isn't in any of us to just sit back and waa waa waa but  this morning was one of those days I felt the water works trying to make it's way.  I worked so hard the last few days trying to get ahead of the game before the hot ass heat gets here.  The deck was shaping up and as soon as I was done in the kitchen I was going to try and scrub it clean but,  of course the dogs get mud everywhere,  chew up sticks and my Belle knocked over my newly planted morning glory's I wanted to attract my humming birds.  Of course Steve could care less,  it's not like something happened to his lawn.  All I want is a quiet pretty place . I'm willing to do it myself but I just don't learn!  I can't have anything nice. Last year Steve made it so nice in the front with rocks and flowers and they all destroyed it.  So this year I thought I'll do it on the deck because I love flower's so much but, I was wrong as usual.  I don't feel well enough to keep doing the same things over and over again.  It's too much for me.  I think Steve thinks because I don't complain much about how I feel that I must feel wonderful. 

Wrong! he hasn't a clue.  Everything takes a lot longer to do from just a couple of years ago. Some days I want to cut off my other leg it hurts so much,  and my hand hurts and swells by the end of the day that I can't even use it.  It sucks that he could care less how the inside of the house looks with the exception of his study, don't screw with that room.  But,  I understand about his study so why can't he understand how I feel?


Tomorrow is another day.

Just saying ~~~

   Just because the past didn't turn out like you may have wanted it to,  doesn't mean your future can't be better than you imagined.


Good words to try and live by or you'll allow yourself to suffocate in your own personal hell.  It can be hard if that's all you know how to do,  but saying it's too late to embrace the moment and allow yourself to have some enjoyable times  is foolish.


Just because your older and things may take longer to do, it  shouldn't dictate your life.

Strength

   

 Strength isn't how much you can handle before you break,  It's  about how much you can handle after you break.

Birthday

 What a nice few days out.  I so love it when the weather is nice you want to do anything.  The pups have been having a ball out,  they love when I get up, get a drink, and head to the gate on the deck to let them out.  I stay out a long time when I can because if I don't my Belle will come in the house to be with me.  All the birds are appearing again.  I could sit out all day and enjoy all sounds.  Sometimes I have to make myself get up  and try to get something done.


My birthday was Thursday and I had the eye Doctor that's always fun.  Steve brought me and I always feel bad that he's stuck having to wait around.  After that we went to Aubrey's for lunch and that was nice,  I love that place. No junk food there,  everything we ever had is always good.  Other than that my birthday was quiet,  my Sis called,  my Granddaughter and other friends left messages on Facebook.  I didn't get any cards from anyone and I missed that,  cards are my favorite,  it shows someone took the time out for you.


Tomorrow is ST.Patrick's day and it's the one day a year I love watching QVC.  All day and night they have so many things from Ireland.  I try to always get at least one thing if I can.  This year I will probably just get my perfume they sell.  Inis, I love that stuff and it's nice and light for spring and summer.


I also took out our last turkey in the freezer and am making that for Sunday dinner with all the fixings!  it's a little challenging cooking with no salt and little butter but last time I cooked turkey everything came out good. Of course the pups will feast tonight as well lol.  Its going to be rainy this week so no fishing but in the mean time I will look for places we can go. Steve is doing great on his diet,  I'm proud he hasn't fussed at all about it.