Thursday, April 10, 2014

Screaming



      Does anyone know what it's like to try and be upbeat and positive all the time?  You try and try to make a difference despite how hard it is just to get up some morning's.  Well  I come from a family of hard workers no matter what!   It just isn't in any of us to just sit back and waa waa waa but  this morning was one of those days I felt the water works trying to make it's way.  I worked so hard the last few days trying to get ahead of the game before the hot ass heat gets here.  The deck was shaping up and as soon as I was done in the kitchen I was going to try and scrub it clean but,  of course the dogs get mud everywhere,  chew up sticks and my Belle knocked over my newly planted morning glory's I wanted to attract my humming birds.  Of course Steve could care less,  it's not like something happened to his lawn.  All I want is a quiet pretty place . I'm willing to do it myself but I just don't learn!  I can't have anything nice. Last year Steve made it so nice in the front with rocks and flowers and they all destroyed it.  So this year I thought I'll do it on the deck because I love flower's so much but, I was wrong as usual.  I don't feel well enough to keep doing the same things over and over again.  It's too much for me.  I think Steve thinks because I don't complain much about how I feel that I must feel wonderful. 

Wrong! he hasn't a clue.  Everything takes a lot longer to do from just a couple of years ago. Some days I want to cut off my other leg it hurts so much,  and my hand hurts and swells by the end of the day that I can't even use it.  It sucks that he could care less how the inside of the house looks with the exception of his study, don't screw with that room.  But,  I understand about his study so why can't he understand how I feel?


Tomorrow is another day.

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