Yesterday I finally went to the kidney doctor, I was there a good long while getting my medicines in order and all my questions answered. I went in by myself the first time so I could try and absorb all the information I was going to receive.
I'm still going over and over it in my head, stage 4, he said stage 4! next is stage 5 and the worse stage. Of course it don't help that I've been diabetic with blood pressure problems for over 25 years either. They can't tell you how much time you have left to live or when and if you'll go on dialysis or able to get a transplant. I'm having a kidney biopsy Thursday morning, and so it begins.
I don't want to leave my husband, Sis, and dogs yet, or the rest of my small family. I want to at least see my 30th anniversary in a couple of years. I'm realistic and I understand where my health is but, I'm not ready to die just yet.
It will be easier for me, once you die that's it, you don't know anything after that, but it's my Steve I think about, who I think will miss me the very most. We've always have taken care of each other, were all we ever had to really count on. I'm not sure how he'll cope without me nagging at him. I love him dearly, he is my most constant in my life besides my Sister.
I'm still going over and over it in my head, stage 4, he said stage 4! next is stage 5 and the worse stage. Of course it don't help that I've been diabetic with blood pressure problems for over 25 years either. They can't tell you how much time you have left to live or when and if you'll go on dialysis or able to get a transplant. I'm having a kidney biopsy Thursday morning, and so it begins.
I don't want to leave my husband, Sis, and dogs yet, or the rest of my small family. I want to at least see my 30th anniversary in a couple of years. I'm realistic and I understand where my health is but, I'm not ready to die just yet.
It will be easier for me, once you die that's it, you don't know anything after that, but it's my Steve I think about, who I think will miss me the very most. We've always have taken care of each other, were all we ever had to really count on. I'm not sure how he'll cope without me nagging at him. I love him dearly, he is my most constant in my life besides my Sister.
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